Women are selective too, on what mates they will choose to be with. Poverty is kind of glorified in many romances as well as appearance.
I sort of considered ending myself over the “playful” insults of high schooler making fun of me. I had a strange resemblance to Albert Newman, the Mad Magazine character, and the banter embarrassed me and had me thinking I was ugly. And my embarrassment at others’ actions and comments made it worse. Even the girls made fun of me, they enjoyed making me turn read. But I was interested in learning, eventually got into the local Ivy League university, and was among intellectual peers who were past the adolescence. There i had a first lasting relationship.
But more important is that I lost the self-consciousness. In my time as missionary in Puerto Rico, in a work associated with the “Jesus People” movement of the 1960s, there was one sister who did not have a standard “beautiful” face, but that girl walked with the sexiest strut and emanated a confidence in her bearing that made her one of the most attractive girls I have ever met. (My wife is the exception).
In my history I worked a bit with a couple, in which the husband was one of the handsomest guys on the planet. She, not so much at all, to be nice. But guess which one was the jealous one? Yep, him.
Just decide. Remember what God told Samuel: Man looketh upon the outward appearance; God looketh on the heart.
Also, learn to make a habit of concern for other people. If you haven’t been born again, let Jesus in, accept his victory over guilt, sin, death, and hell and his gift of life. Practice his commandment to love others as you would have them love you.
Now that I have done this and gone on to be missionary for many years, life is better than before, than ever. Like a rich man once told his suicidal daughter, distraught at the emptiness after living a wild life in Europe: “If you have to throw your life away, at least throw it at something worth doing.”