A really, really, brief history of secession

The purpose of the War between the States was to kill the idea of secession. Slavery was secondary. Lincoln once supported an amendment to enshrine slavery if it would “save the Union”. It was not the war to free the slaves but to enslave the free.

Lincoln ordered at least one escaped slave returned to his master in UNION state Missouri. The Emancipation Proclamation ONLY applied to the SOUTHERN states, NOT MISSOURI or Maryland, Delaware or Kentucky. To this day Mississippi folks consider Kentucky as “North”.

The thirteen colonies of the Continental Congress committed the sin of secession from England,

England committed the sin of seceding from Rome.

Kosovo committed the sin of seceding from Serbia, supported by Clinton’s bombs.

Southern Sudan committed the sin of secession from Sudan.

A dozen members of the USSR seceded from the USSR.

Ukraine seceded from USSR and Crimea seceded from Ukraine.

Pakistan and India seceded from each other.

Israel seceded from the British Palestinian Mandate, and the Palestinians seceded from Israel.

Honduras, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua and Costa Rica seceded from Spain, led by Francisco Morazan. Indian Chief Lempira is a national anti-imperialist hero in Honduras.

Haiti seceded from France, then invaded the rest of Hispaniola, then the Dominican Republic seceded from Haiti.

Bernardo O’Higgins liberated (won secession for) Chile from Spain.

Angola seceded from Portugal.

Zimbabwe seceded from the British Empire. (Maybe because they’re racist? Some dead white folks probably think so now)

Botswana seceded from South Africa. (Because Botswana must belong to racist white slave-owners maybe, following the logic of radical anti-secessionists in the U.S.)

Curacao seceded from Netherlands.

Surinam seceded from Netherlands.

The Lutherans seceded from Rome.

The Salvation Army seceded from the Methodists.

The Pilgrims seceded from Europe.

Texas seceded from Mexico.

All of Europe seceded from the Roman Empire.

St. Louis seceded from St. Louis County.

Hialeah, in Florida, wants to secede from Miami-Dade County.

The totality of the former Soviet Socialist Republics of the USSR seceded from the Soviet Union, then they seceded (mostly) from socialist dictatorship.

Cuba and the Philippines seceded from Spain. In fact, almost the entire continent of Latin America seceded from the Spanish Empire.

Panama seceded from Columbia.

Taiwan seceded from Communist China.

Most of us would be happy if California seceded from the USA. And took Hollywood with them.

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