Fairy tale for adults

In the beginning, there was a “singularity”. It was nowhere because there was no space yet; it existed during no time at all because there was no time yet. We don’t really know what it was, because relativity says everything has to exist in four dimensions to exist at all. So it was the same as “nothing”, but we prefer to say “singularity”. Sounds more scientific.

So in the beginning, suddenly, nothing exploded into something and became everything so fast we don’t know how it worked, but we know it did so we call it “Inflation”. There are twenty theories on how it worked for every ten cosmologists, but we know it is true because we exist. We exist, therefore Inflation happened.

So then all that hot stuff (it was hot) started cooling down till some of it swirled and collected into stars, then planets, and moons and stuff.

Then one day one of these things became the third rock from the sun, and the universe showered sunlight, comets and stuff onto its surface for a long time till finally us biotes formed all by themselves out of the rock. Nobody knows how that could happen because the only digital computers we know how to make, well, SOMEBODY has to make them on purpose, and we don’t allow any divine foot in the door.

That’s right kiddies, bacteria formed right out of that rock because “something” took the amino acids being formed right out of the atmosphere that would have destroyed it on formation instantly, just like in Miller’s lab. It was like magic, but we can’t call it magic, because we don’t believe in magic and we cannot allow a divine foot in the door.

And although a million generations of bacteria in a closed lab since the 1970s has evolved into nothing but the same kind of bacteria it started with, we know that generations of bacteria became jellyfish, then fish, then reptiles then birds and mammals and you and me and Santa Claus. And since there is no “record” at all in the fossils of this evolutionary continuum, evolutionary paleontologists (that’s a branch of the Allowed Science Priesthood) have come up with “punctuated equilibrium” to explain this, the first “science” theory this writer has ever heard of that offers the lack of evidence for itself as evidence. Because, of course we cannot allow a divine foot in the door.

“…because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:..” — 2 Thessalonians 2:10b-11

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