Marriage and breakups

Are there kids?

By the way, my wife has always done all her “duty” toward me. Good wife in all senses, with some important flaws, not exactly like but similar to the post. The relationship became 10,000 times better when I decided to just start telling her “I love you” 100 times a day, calling her “Honey”, “Sweetheart”, and the like instead of her first name, and to occasionally surprise her with flowers and fruit. (She loves fruit like a cat does catnip).

I work around things that are differences. Keep the little things in perspective and sacrifice them to the biggest things, and make a conscious decision to go with the flow. Draw the line with blasphemy and the like, but thank God she’s a Christian woman and respects God. She doesn’t understand the importance of doctrine, but she bears many fruits of salvation and compassion, so that’s all okay.

I have no clue whether any of this applies there, just sharing my lessons.

I should also share that in spite of sticking with my ex-wife over many many years it finally was too much. And it was better for myself, her, and the children to split up, despite her trying to cling to it but on her terms.

ALL the children from that marriage tell me they were glad we split up, and recoiled in horror (or uncontrolled floor-rolling laughing fits) when I asked them later if they wanted me to go back to her.

Something I’ve learned to apply in all situations, not just people, is Matthew 7:20: By their fruits ye shall know them.

When deciding between action A and action B, ask the fruits: Will action A or action B bear the better fruit, the more positive fruit, the more edifying? But these matters of the heart are always charged and differ with the situation, the context of families and in laws, and the personalities involved, and how much the people in the situation are committed to God’s law of love.


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